If you haven’t played Portal yet, do it. It’s not the longest game; most players seem to finish around three hours of gameplay. But it’s three insanely fun, and sometimes hilarious, hours.

If you’re like me, you’re not looking for comedy in a game. And if you’re not like me, you’re still not looking for comedy, because nobody goes into a game thinking, “as long as there are funny songs and some good one-liners, I don’t care if the graphics or the gameplay sucks.” That’s like being a Bears fan your whole life, going to see them in the Superbowl, and only caring that the hot chocolate is scalding and the hot dogs are plump. The game comes first.

Then again, when you get a great game in addition to a delicious drink and tasty treats, it’s Christmas come early! I wish I could spoil the action for you, just so we could revel in the humor together, but that would be selfish. I’ll just leave it with a LANDodger-approved stamp, with one small caveat.

The only “disappointment” – I hesitate to even call it that, considering how fun the game was – had nothing to do with the actual play. I just wish it had more options. I’m sure the community will make a ton of interesting maps, so I’m not worried about that. What I really want to see is a multiplayer version. Just you, the enemy, a portal gun, and chunky bits when he chases you into a portal and you move the exit directly under a giant bone-crushing mechanism.

But really, I’m thinking Quake 4 with a portal gun: one guy running around with the machine gun, the ability to make portals, and (hopefully) enough wits to outmaneuver the three or four guys chasing after him. You could even make it a team game. Have one person for each team with that setup, except in a 3 v 3 game. The leader/portal guy has to make sure he keeps making escape routes for his teammates, without letting them get disorganized, chased, or saving his own skin when a rocket comes his way. Although, I think that's the funny option. Get your team in a pickle, and then escape alone with the portal gun. How long would a team like that stay alive? A week?

There are so many multiplayer implications with the portal gun, both for offense and defense. Make portals to shoot your enemy in the back with a rocket. Use it to gain speed and escape from an opponent with a clear health/weapon/position advantage. Lead your enemies into a trap. I could go on forever. The mental side of the game would have huge upside-potential.

In fact, if they announced a Portal Promod right now, I’d be more excited for that than the (more hyped) release of CSPromod. Until then, I’ll dream about the possibilities, and say one last thing about the game itself:

This was a triumph. I’m making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS. It’s hard to overstate my satisfaction.

(Seriously, play the game so you understand that line.)