The deed is finished! If you missed Part I or Part II, don't fret, I've got your back.

One last note before we begin. I want to stress that you should take these predictions in the spirit in which they're given: as entertainment. Good predictions, in my opinion, can mix and match two things: entertainment and information. When predicting sixty-four matches, the amount of information is prohibitively large. Instead of bogging everybody, including myself, down with details and match-ups, I tried to give a brief background for each team, a joke, and move on. It's 5,300 words as it is. If I went as in-depth as I do during the Invite predictions, it would have been closer to 15,000. I don't think people want to read that, and I don't think I could write that in the time alloted, anyway.

So, hopefully you've enjoyed the jokes and following my meandering thoughts. If that's not your thing, I'll be doing more in-depth predictions when the field gets narrowed a little bit. For now, the home stretch!

Invader vs. Ransom – This sounds more like two steps in a kidnapping plot than a CS match. Clan Ransom? What exactly are they ransoming? These are the really important life questions that I need answered.

I think the only better matchups would be Panty Raid/Invader, and Panty Raid/Ransom. One time, at band camp …

Random got beat 3-27 during the season. That violates my 20 Round Margin rule, and prohibits me from picking them to win.

Invader > Ransom 16-9

Powerline vs. Just Type Kill – My prayers have been answered: these two teams actually played each other during the regular season in Main.

JTK! Has had a rough season. They started out with a 24-6 pasting of Mind The Addiction. But, I think they peaked a little early. It’s been a 1-5 ride since then, including an 11-19 loss to Powerline. I don’t see any reason to go against the regular season results here.

Powerline > JTK 16-10

Old School Gamers vs. Next-Level – This should be a pretty good match. OSG has been in Main a couple times before, although they died and worked their way back. They’re 4-4 right now, which is nothing to sneeze at.

Next-Level is also 4-4 in Main, and I recognize a few of their players. MarbeL used to be on n3mesis (and a couple other Main teams, I believe), and Farout is well-known in the community. 

The biggest difference I see is in their recent matches. Next-Level played two close matches against Unheardof and Nous Sommes Francophones, two of the top teams in Main. NSF was also in the Placement Tournament for this season but fell just short. They’ve got two big losses on their record, as well, but those seem to be blips more than a trend. It looks like they’re a little stronger than OSG, but it should be close.

Next-Level > OSG 16-13

Team Fallen vs. Allstars – Fallen has a suspended player, which is somewhat appropriate given the team name. Allstars seems like a decent CAL-IM team, and Fallen hasn’t done so well since their overturned match. Funny how that works sometimes.

All* > Fallen 16-10

Wal-Mart Security vs. Insomnia Gaming – wMs is another old-school Main team, and nobody’s touched them so far in CAL-O. I can’t discount the possibility that they’re actually Wal-Mart Security people – a job which has a minimum age of sixty, I believe. 

(I live in Florida. The Wal-Marts here are almost like some kind of geriatric social hangout.)

wMs > IG 16-11

fatties vs. Black Is Wack – I already made a deporting joke, and this matchup is just asking to get me in trouble with African-Americans and big-boned people. 

This time, I’m really not taking the bait, even though the evil shoulder angel is making some really good jokes.

They’re both playing well in their respective divisions, but a 5-1 record in Intermediate is a lot more impressive than a 4-0 record in Open. 

Fatties > BiW 16-12

Puresound Gaming vs. Livinproof – Livingproof is 3-1 in Open with a guy suspended for evading a previous suspension. Puresound Gaming is 2-2 with no suspensions. Part of me wants to reward the “clean” team.

The other part of me wants to get the prediction right.

Livinproof > Puresound 16-10

I ATE EVERYONE. vs. strafeRight² -- It’s only a matter of time before IAE turns to cannibalism. They have sixteen people on their CAL-O roster. Somebody is going to get a little too hungry and take a bite out of the person next to him. It goes downhill from there – just ask the Donner Party.

That being said, it’s pretty hard to strafe after you’ve been eaten. Plus, strafe is only 2-2 in CAL-O, and IAE is 4-0.

IAE > sR 16-5

Haf Boys vs. str!ke – Haf boys, half … amazin’? Haf boys, half men? (Upon checking what HAF stood for, I only wish it was something as PG as I suggested.) 

One thing I’m sure of: 0:1:938512000:09 375 5, one of their SteamIDs, is not a legitimate.

They’ve had similar results in CAL-O. Each got blown out by a 3-1 team, they’ve blown out two lesser teams, and played a 2-2 team evenly. It seems like this could go either way.

str!ke > HB 16-13

Blood Sports vs. XOBILE – Coming this summer, from Exxon Mobile: Xobile, a mobile phone that gives you up to the minute reports on just how bad you’re getting reamed at the pump. Xobile: because we couldn’t resist rubbing your dependence on gas in your face.

Blood Sports is an upper-level Intermediate team, while XOBILE isn’t making much noise in Open. Probably a mismatch.

BS > XOBILE 16-7

Team Rabid vs. world domination –Sticking with the oil theme for a second, a quick note to the guys at world domination: if you’re gonna do it, you better get started. George Bush has a big head-start, and I’m not sure if conquering the world one eSports match at a time is really the way to go. I’ve been wrong before, though.

There’s not much to distinguish between the two teams, they’re both 3-1 in CAL-Open with a couple big wins. WD had a 28-2 win, though. Even though blowout wins in Open are worth about as much as a milli-peso, it’s all I’ve got.

WD > Rabid 16-13

Tenth Dimension Gaming vs. Vendetta – Wouldn’t four dimensions have been enough? I can barely comprehend anything more than two dimensions. That’s why I’m only good at Pong. Ten dimensions is just overkill.

This should be one of the more entertaining matches. Vendetta is 6-2 in CAL-Main, and Tenth Dimension (Spectrum) is 4-2 in CAL-IM with two close losses. I think Vendetta has the clear advantage, but at least they’re somewhat close.

Vendetta > Tenth Dimension 16-11

Warrior Nation vs. Unheardof – Unheardof? Never heard of them before. Who are these guys? (Too obvious? Probably. But at five AM, after this many predictions, it feels like pure genious.)

(Yes, that’s an intentional typo.)

They’re actually a dominant CAL-Main team, and I’m going to extend them the Invite treatment: you get predicted for a big win, and we move on.

? > Warrior Nation 16-4

Team illusive vs. JfK*-Clan – On the “Top Ten Signs You’re in CAL-O” list, where does including your clan tag in your handle rank? It’s gotta be top-five, right? (Note: when I first registered for CAL, I too used my clan tag as part of my handle. Somebody told me it looked more organized, and thus cooler. They were wrong.)

Nothing against the guys, I’m just sayin’. 

Also, the irony of Team illusive (based on or having the nature of an illusion) playing JFK Clan ... priceless. This is the last of the improbable matchups I’m blaming on SkyNet and Gancorz. And considering the thousands of books that have been written about the JFK assassination, it might be the best one.

I think JFK gets his revenge.

JfK* > illusive 16-12

Mind the Addiction vs. Newbies Operating – Newbies Operating is a 5-1 CAL-IM team with a 2-2 CAL-O name. At least they gave it a little different spin, even though I think adding “heavy machinery while drunk” is a worthy addition to the end.

MTA is 3-5 CAL-M team, so this should be a pretty good match (there are a few in this set of predictions). I’m going to give MTA a little bit of an advantage for being a Main team, but I think this one could go down to the wire.

MTA > NO (HMWD) 16-14

We’re All In Thongs vs. Ruin – I’ve spent a lot of time making fun of team names, but this is just a blatant lie. There’s no way all the people on that team are in thongs. I’ve played CS in a thong before. It’s very uncomfortable. It bunches, it rides, it disappears into you know where. Two thumbs down for lying.

Ruin is 4-2 in CAL-IM, they should be able to take on a 3-1 CAL-Open team. Especially one filled with liars.

Ruin > WAIT! 16-10

You got ‘d? vs. Urban Bushido Team Three – What happened to Urban Bushido Teams One and Two? Somebody get Matlock on the phone, we’ve got a mystery on our hands.

You got ‘d is actually a pretty cool tag once you incorporate their game handles. Not too shabby. But it’s a bad sign when your clan tag is more impressive than your clan record.

UBTT > You got (loss)’d? 16-12

Energie vs. It Takes Five – Energie has played a good four or five teams in the tournament during this season of Main, with mixed results. The 5-3 record doesn’t jump out at you, but they’ve had a couple close losses. The only bad match was an 8-22 defeat from BFG, one of the top teams in Main this season.

It Takes Five has been ripping through IM, so this is another good match if you manage to find some SoruceTV info or you enjoy watching the strangely hypnotic text of a scorebot. 

I’m going to give it to Energie, even though their clan description scares me. I give them a 50% chance of at least one member showing up high.

Energie > ITF 16-12

oPg vs elemental – Hey, whaddaya know, another 4-0 CAL-O team! And another 3-3 CAL-IM team! I’ve only seen about three million of those today. (Seriously, I now consider myself an expert on CAL-O and CAL-IM team names, at the very least. KaptainCrunch and the CerealKillas is my second favorite, by the way.)

I’ve tended to favor the team with more experience in earlier predictions, but oPg doesn’t seem to have any problems handling Open teams, and elemental is struggling in CAL-IM (one of their wins is a forfeit win.) Gonna go with the better record here, instead of the team playing in the higher division.

oPg > elemental 16-12

inFusion vs. Oxide Gaming – (I … SEE … THE FINISH LINE …)

inFusion reported a forfeit win over OG already. I’m not sure what happened, and at this point, I consider the forfeit a blessing. I’m taking it at face value and not asking questions.

inF > OG 16-0 (FF win)

Arsenal vs. Pub4life – Do you know what it feels like when you reach the end of sixty four predictions? I do. It feels like winning the Super Bowl. (On Madden 2k7, but still.)

I’m going to Disney World!

(Read: I’m going to sleep!)

Arsenal > Pub4life 16-10

As promised, if you made it through all sixty-four predictions with me, you get a gold star.

If you hopped onto the bandwagon during Part III, don't click that link. I'm trusting you.

By the way, if this tournament comes around again next season and I want to do predictions for the first round, drug me. Seriously, just knock me out for a few days. Outsource the predictions to India. Do whatever it takes. I’ll thank you when I wake up.