Round Two … FIGHT!
IN1HIT vs. Second Nature – Unintended consequence of the eMg tournament: you can see which players are active on any team. I’m flipping back and forth between the eMg rosters, and the regular CAL rosters for each team so I can see a little bit of their match history, and without fail there’s about 2-3 more people per CAL roster.
I think CAL should pull a rope-a-dope. Instead of going back to the regular season, just use these rosters instead. It’s large-scale electronic bonsai.
Second Nature has been tearing up CAL-O, but IN1HIT is a solid main team. I’m actually curious to see who wins this match. People always make claims about CAL-O teams being better than CAL-M teams. Now is their chance to prove it.
IN1HIT > sN 16-10
Syntax of Gaming vs. insanity – Going with Syntax of Gaming on this one. Why? Check out their website. Over on the left side, scroll down a little bit … it’s a small version of me!
I don’t claim to be unbiased. Go Syntax!
SoG > insanity 16-0 (Going for broke, baby!)
Tagteam vs. AmpedGaming – AmpedGaming has a lot of team spirit. They have three guys named “everyone”, “anyone”, and “no one”, and three people with the last name of Nguyen. To help, I suggest adding somebody named “the one”, and seeking out a sponsorship from Scotty Nguyen. Or, if you’re feeling really ambitious, try to recruit him and make him use “the one” as his handle.
Amped’s results have been a little better, but they have a suspended player. I’m not sure how that will impact the match, but I’m going to give them an edge, anyway.
Amped > Tagteam 16-10
clutchpatrol vs. Devastation – (Cue Ghostbusters themesong.)
When it’s 1v2
In bombsite B
Who you gonna call?
CLUTCH-PATROL!
(I ain’t ‘fraid of no clutch.)
The only problem: clutching against Devastation is a lot harder than frying the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man. And a lot less tasty.
Dev > clutchpatrol 16-2
Nuccastyle vs. Flawed Existence – I make a Ghostbusters joke, and I kid you not, there’s a guy on Flawed Existence with the handle “Venkman.” You can’t make this stuff up.
Flawed is a decent main team, while Nuccastyle is doing some damage down in the CAL-Sewers – er, I mean CAL-Open. I’m sticking to my guns and going with the CAL-M team.
FLEX > Nuccastyle 16-12
Elite Special Force | Invictus vs. Ever Sports – Just before I was ready to post the predictions, I got an e-mail from one of the ESF members. Apparently they have people on vacation for Canada Day, and they can't get the match rescheduled. They're going to be playing without at least two, probably three, of their starters.
LANDodger says: reschedule! Give our Northern brethern a break, they already have to deal with sharing a continent with us. The least we can do is reschedule a match. (Note: if Ever Sports is also based in Canada, then have mercy on your kith!)
If that doesn't happen, it looks like Ever Sports is sporting (PUN ALERT) a 5-1 record in Intermediate, with ESF at 3-3. I don't see much hope for ESF without a majority of their starters.
Ever Sports > ESF 16-8
Apocalyptica vs. DynastyGaming – Mel Gibson, is that you? (Oh wait, that was Apocalypto.)
Apparently, Apocalyptica is a Finnish musical group. There are four cellists, and they do covers of bands like Metallica and Pantera. I don’t know about you guys, but what I’m listening to Metallica, my first thought is always, “Man, this would sound really good on a cello. If only they had more cello players.”
I’m not sure if that’s what the team was going for, but who says predictions can’t be educational?
All that said, their CAL-O performance is decidedly underwhelming. A 30-0 loss and a 26-4 loss = a predicted loss.
DG > Apocalyptica 16-5
Enemy vs. Pure.Gaming – The World’s Shortest Preds, Round 2 … go!
The coin came up heads.
Enemy > Pure 16-9
Up in Smoke! vs. FEAR – Is there a F.E.A.R. clan named Counter-Strike?
Up in Smoke lost to my new favorite CAL-O team, ERFQUAKE!!!, 26-4. I’m giving FEAR the win.
FEAR > UIS 16-12
Fluid Gaming vs. Landscapers – Resisting the urge to make an illegal alien joke about Landscapers …
The Landscapers have a suspended player. He had incomplete/no demos. See, it's all these illegal electronic aliens making us look bad! They're taking our jobs, hurting our economyI believe he’s being deported as we speak.
… what can I say? Sometimes you gotta scratch the itch.
They’re both doing alright in CAL-IM, but I think Fluid is a little stronger. I actually recognize one of their players, which is incredible. At this point, it’s like seeing somebody from your High School during your first semester at college. Even if you never talked during the four years of HS, you’re instantly best friends just because of that shared experience. It’s ridiculous. And now it’s happening to me.
Fluid > Landscapers 16-12
Rising Five vs. Cry More Noob – I’m not sure why this is a match, these aren’t even CS teams.
A lot of people don’t know this, but the rising five is actually the prequel to the high five. It isn’t used very often anymore, but it involves putting your hands together raising them into the air, and then clapping them at the top again. Nowadays, people just forego the foreplay and get straight to the clap.
Cry More Noob is a new Michael Moore documentary about social pariahs and the people that prey upon them. We all know the Internet community can be very harsh, especially on n00bs that like to cry. I think it’s set to release at 12:00 AM on Caturday.
Rising Five > Cry More Noob 16-7
Frailty vs. Default – A CAL-Main team! Woo-hoo! At this point, that equals an automatic prediction to win.
I need some kind of mental Viagra.
Default > Frailty 16-10
I must say, going with CAPS LOCK ENGAGED for SUPER SOAKERS was a good move. It makes it seem like the person was actually getting hosed down as he was typing the name. The team hasn’t had much success in CAL-O this season, but Soldiers of Chaos, despite a much more intimidating name, haven’t done much better. It’ll be a close one.
SoC > TSS 16-14
NBA vs. LucK – LucK has been one of the better teams in CAL-Invite so far this season, and I’m a big fan. I don’t see them losing here unless they’re too busy asking for autographs.
Wait, the NBA CS team isn’t full of NBA players? Well, I feel silly.
LucK > NBA 16-1
Rhapsody vs. BLT – Rhapsody is 4-0 and the owners of the least intimidating team ever. BLT is 2-2 and the sandwich is considering changing its acronym to BLAT just so the two aren’t associated with each other.
If I have to predict one more match with two CAL-O teams facing each other, my head is going to explode.
Rhapsody > BLT 16-8
Thru the eyes of a killer vs. cyberXtreme – (BOOM!) (Post-Publish note: just when you assume two teams are CAL-O, somebody e-mails you to correct your mistake. Not only did the assumption make me look silly, but now a good head-blowing-up joke is ruined. Ruined! Curses!)
cyberXtreme: most stereotypical name ever?
Thru the eyes of a killer: just plain creepy, man. Seriously. That’s the name of a clan that will stalk and hunt down a predictor if he’s too mean.
Hmm …
TTEOAK > cyberXtreme 16-1
WeWar vs. Belligerence.css – At a time like this, I’m regretting that I suggested non-alcoholic beverages in the beginning of Part I. If everybody still reading was drunk, it would make my job a lot easier.
WeWar is 4-1 in Intermediate with a pending match against Sextronica, which was on Cinemax last night, I think.
Belligerence is doing really well in CAL-O, but it’s still CAL-O. And if they’re jerks in scrims, at least they’re up front about it.
WeWar (what is it good for?!) > Belligerence 16-10
Elastic Rubber Band Warriors vs. soLgaming – I fear no warrior that wields elastic rubber bands.
soL > ERBW 16-10
Devil 13 vs. Team Divine – We have a guest predictor! The official brother of LANDodger is stepping in for this prediction.
LD`Brother: “Under ordinary circumstances, my personal preference for evil would override my better judgment (the good guys always win). But an unlucky devil (#13) just doesn't have a chance. Unless they play 13 players, in which case they'd probably win. Unless they're unlucky.”
Team Divine > Devil 13 16-13
(“Even though I think the name Team Divine is so lame, they deserve to lose.”)
Exitium vs. e-Athletes – e-Athletes beat a team called “We Suck” 30-0 in CAL-O. No joke. What are the chances a team named “We Suck” makes it CAL-I? Aren’t you pretty much setting yourself up for failure? It’s like naming your child Forrest. Nothing good can come of it.
Exitium is yet another decent CAL-IM team (4-2), and they should beat the e-Athletes.
Exitium > e-Athletes 16-6
Part III still coming, don't worry! I'll soldier on, even though you're probably as burned out from reading them as I am from writing them.
